- Halloween is probably the slowest day of the year for hookers
- I think the worst name for anything has to be the "grapefruit"
- If I had a million dollars, I would buy a new pair of socks every day
- If you're going to rob a bank, and need to go to Kohl's to get pantyhose, you probably get very awkward looks
- What's the appropriate age to tell your kids you're a ninja?
- The only thing that's kind of funny about pedophilia is the pillow talk
- Actually, tied with grapefruit is "wet naps"
- If you made out with an invisible woman in public...you would look really really funny
- I like kickball because it's the only sport with all the instructions in the name. This is also the reason I don't like Blow Pops
- If you go to the barbershop and everyone is wearing lab coats, you're probably not at the barbershop
- You can really judge how good a food is by thinking about how much of it is disgusting. 5-gallon jar of mayonnaise: repulsive. Swimming pool filled with jello: awesome.
Something to listen to: The Decemberists - Yankee Bayonet
Something to do: Turn off your cell phone for an entire day and try to survive.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
Unoriginal
Seriously, what's the deal with Ovaltine?
I think I'm going to try to update this blog about once a week. For one, I've been trying to devote a little more time to school, and also it's really hard to actually think up an original thought. It's easy to comment on current news, but it is just quite overdone. I mean, what has been going on the past few days?
-- The 'surge' in Iraq. 95% of the blogosphere believes Bush is an idiot, and I can't offer a single additional fact or opinion that hasn't already been beaten to hell.
-- Smear campaigns against Barack Obama already. The guy isn't even officially running for president, and already Fox News tells me not to vote for him because he's a smoker. It sounds to me like Fox could use a cigarette.
-- Football. I realize that Rex Grossman is one of the worst decision-making quarterbacks ever, but for shit's sake, he's brought the Bears to the NFC Championship, maybe farther, and he definitely deserves some recognition. Meanwhile, if the Saints win, it is going to be such a feel0good story that no one is going to mention the fact that they're a bunch of talentless hacks that had a sensational draft last year.
-- The Democrats are pushing for ethics more and more. The Senate passed a bill to not allow bribes, something that should never have been allowed. Maybe, just maybe, our country is headed in the right direction as far as leadership is concerned.
Something to listen to: Making April - Jump In
Something to do: Make a list of your top ten priorities. Seriously, write down the top ten things you focus on in your daily life. If you had any New Years resolutions, forget them, this is better. Try to honestly write down what you primarily focus on. Looking attractive? Being skinny? Doing well in school/work? Making money? Devoting time to your religion? Don't show anyone and don't bullshit yourself. Just take a long look at this list and see what you're doing with your life.
Oh yea, if you're a girl, look at how high on the list "Grey's Anatomy" is, and just think about how pathetic that is.
I think I'm going to try to update this blog about once a week. For one, I've been trying to devote a little more time to school, and also it's really hard to actually think up an original thought. It's easy to comment on current news, but it is just quite overdone. I mean, what has been going on the past few days?
-- The 'surge' in Iraq. 95% of the blogosphere believes Bush is an idiot, and I can't offer a single additional fact or opinion that hasn't already been beaten to hell.
-- Smear campaigns against Barack Obama already. The guy isn't even officially running for president, and already Fox News tells me not to vote for him because he's a smoker. It sounds to me like Fox could use a cigarette.
-- Football. I realize that Rex Grossman is one of the worst decision-making quarterbacks ever, but for shit's sake, he's brought the Bears to the NFC Championship, maybe farther, and he definitely deserves some recognition. Meanwhile, if the Saints win, it is going to be such a feel0good story that no one is going to mention the fact that they're a bunch of talentless hacks that had a sensational draft last year.
-- The Democrats are pushing for ethics more and more. The Senate passed a bill to not allow bribes, something that should never have been allowed. Maybe, just maybe, our country is headed in the right direction as far as leadership is concerned.
Something to listen to: Making April - Jump In
Something to do: Make a list of your top ten priorities. Seriously, write down the top ten things you focus on in your daily life. If you had any New Years resolutions, forget them, this is better. Try to honestly write down what you primarily focus on. Looking attractive? Being skinny? Doing well in school/work? Making money? Devoting time to your religion? Don't show anyone and don't bullshit yourself. Just take a long look at this list and see what you're doing with your life.
Oh yea, if you're a girl, look at how high on the list "Grey's Anatomy" is, and just think about how pathetic that is.
Friday, January 12, 2007
CSS Frustrations
Come on team, it's bobsled time...
So I was bored last night and decided to replace the "minima" theme with one of my own. I really like everything to be simple and functional, but it was just a bit too bland before.
Now, I don't know if you've ever done website layout before, but it is a pain in the ass. I started by switching out the title for a nice photoshopped header, which I added a one pixel stroke too. My plan was line this border up with some borders for the rest of the elements in the page. I also made a light gradient for the background just to add a little... zing?
Now that I had my graphics and my crude plan, I went to work on the CSS. For those of you who don't code, it's kind of hard to describe the idiosyncrasies associated with CSS - It's kind of like writing a book using only abbreviations and acronyms. One person my read this book (let's call him...Firefox) and it makes perfect sense, but when someone else skims through it (how about...Internet Explorer) they think that your margin is 8000 pixels wide and you want your archive hanging out below the rest of your entire site.
It seems like life would be a whole lot easier if someone wrote out some set of rules and standards as to how to read this book. Well, turns out that is actually the case. There's a group of people called the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) that has drawn up standards on how to read CSS (among many other standards). However, Internet Explorer is still trying to catch up to today's technology, and is only now in IE7 actually coming up the standards.
Now, it would be nice to only need to worry about writing CSS for a standards-compliant browser, such as Firefox or Opera, but since most of the world (roughly 80% of internet users) still use IE, designing a simple layout turns into a much bigger problem than it should be.
In short, that's the reason some border lines may be one pixel off the header. Or, perhaps you're using some crazy browser and everything is completely jacked. If this is the case, leave a comment.
Something to listen to: OneLineDrawing - We Had a Deal
Something to do: Get firefox (link in sidebar)
So I was bored last night and decided to replace the "minima" theme with one of my own. I really like everything to be simple and functional, but it was just a bit too bland before.
Now, I don't know if you've ever done website layout before, but it is a pain in the ass. I started by switching out the title for a nice photoshopped header, which I added a one pixel stroke too. My plan was line this border up with some borders for the rest of the elements in the page. I also made a light gradient for the background just to add a little... zing?
Now that I had my graphics and my crude plan, I went to work on the CSS. For those of you who don't code, it's kind of hard to describe the idiosyncrasies associated with CSS - It's kind of like writing a book using only abbreviations and acronyms. One person my read this book (let's call him...Firefox) and it makes perfect sense, but when someone else skims through it (how about...Internet Explorer) they think that your margin is 8000 pixels wide and you want your archive hanging out below the rest of your entire site.
It seems like life would be a whole lot easier if someone wrote out some set of rules and standards as to how to read this book. Well, turns out that is actually the case. There's a group of people called the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) that has drawn up standards on how to read CSS (among many other standards). However, Internet Explorer is still trying to catch up to today's technology, and is only now in IE7 actually coming up the standards.
Now, it would be nice to only need to worry about writing CSS for a standards-compliant browser, such as Firefox or Opera, but since most of the world (roughly 80% of internet users) still use IE, designing a simple layout turns into a much bigger problem than it should be.
In short, that's the reason some border lines may be one pixel off the header. Or, perhaps you're using some crazy browser and everything is completely jacked. If this is the case, leave a comment.
Something to listen to: OneLineDrawing - We Had a Deal
Something to do: Get firefox (link in sidebar)
Friday, January 5, 2007
The Illusion of Free Will
Submitted for the approval of the midnight society...
Ok, so there has been some talk recently about free will and if it actually exists. Well, at least enough talk to get an article in the NY Times.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/02/science/02free.html?_r=1&ei=5087%0A&em=&en=955a97875084f083&ex=1167886800&pagewanted=all&oref=slogin
Feel free to read that article if you so desire, but most of it is drawn out metaphysical garbage that is quite difficult to understand without a BA in bullshit. I'll try to make it simple.
Let's say you're trying to pick out a movie from the 5 you own. You're probably under the assumption that you actually have a choice in this situation. You know that you can pick whichever of the 5 you want. However, this may not actually be the case.
It is common scientific knowledge that things such as mood (which clearly affects actions) are controlled by the relative levels of chemicals and hormones in the body, which
can theoretically be read by a computer program (for example's sake). Now we can see that this computer program, with the aid of some knowledge of individual hormones, could tell what mood you're in. Now let's say the five movies are a comedy, a drama, a chick flick, a horror, and a documentary. It seem reasonable to assume that this program could possibly tell which movie you were going to pick based solely on hormonal levels in the brain. This in itself is actually theoretical proof of the lack of free will.
You're probable saying to yourself, "Yea, but even if I'm in a light-hearted mood and would thus pick a comedy according to my hormones, I could still pick the drama because I have free will." Albeit a good point for my example, my version of the brain and computer program are very simple. The actual human brain is a complex neural network beyond the scope of modern technology, so we would only need a more advanced software to determine the movie choice.
Yes, this is all hypothetical at this point, so let's take a concrete example (from the NY Times article):
This means that first the brain will figure out the movie you're going to choose, and then you choose it. Also, this study has been replicated many times since then, always with the same result.
This is an incredibly hard concept to wrap your head around, seeing as you've probably lived most of your life under the assumption that you yourself were making all the decisions. In fact, you've only had the illusion of free will.
What does this mean? Well, with unlimited computing power and unlimited knowledge of the human brain... we could create the Matrix :/
Something to listen to: The Hush Sound - City Traffic Puzzle
Something to do: make some chili
Ok, so there has been some talk recently about free will and if it actually exists. Well, at least enough talk to get an article in the NY Times.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/02/science/02free.html?_r=1&ei=5087%0A&em=&en=955a97875084f083&ex=1167886800&pagewanted=all&oref=slogin
Feel free to read that article if you so desire, but most of it is drawn out metaphysical garbage that is quite difficult to understand without a BA in bullshit. I'll try to make it simple.
Let's say you're trying to pick out a movie from the 5 you own. You're probably under the assumption that you actually have a choice in this situation. You know that you can pick whichever of the 5 you want. However, this may not actually be the case.
It is common scientific knowledge that things such as mood (which clearly affects actions) are controlled by the relative levels of chemicals and hormones in the body, which
can theoretically be read by a computer program (for example's sake). Now we can see that this computer program, with the aid of some knowledge of individual hormones, could tell what mood you're in. Now let's say the five movies are a comedy, a drama, a chick flick, a horror, and a documentary. It seem reasonable to assume that this program could possibly tell which movie you were going to pick based solely on hormonal levels in the brain. This in itself is actually theoretical proof of the lack of free will.
You're probable saying to yourself, "Yea, but even if I'm in a light-hearted mood and would thus pick a comedy according to my hormones, I could still pick the drama because I have free will." Albeit a good point for my example, my version of the brain and computer program are very simple. The actual human brain is a complex neural network beyond the scope of modern technology, so we would only need a more advanced software to determine the movie choice.
Yes, this is all hypothetical at this point, so let's take a concrete example (from the NY Times article):
In the 1970s, Benjamin Libet, a physiologist at the University of California, San Francisco, wired up the brains of volunteers to an electroencephalogram and told the volunteers to make random motions, like pressing a button or flicking a finger, while he noted the time on a clock.
Dr. Libet found that brain signals associated with these actions occurred half a second before the subject was conscious of deciding to make them.
The order of brain activities seemed to be perception of motion, and then decision, rather than the other way around.
This means that first the brain will figure out the movie you're going to choose, and then you choose it. Also, this study has been replicated many times since then, always with the same result.
This is an incredibly hard concept to wrap your head around, seeing as you've probably lived most of your life under the assumption that you yourself were making all the decisions. In fact, you've only had the illusion of free will.
What does this mean? Well, with unlimited computing power and unlimited knowledge of the human brain... we could create the Matrix :/
Something to listen to: The Hush Sound - City Traffic Puzzle
Something to do: make some chili
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Little Miss Sunshine
So there's this blog thing...
Today I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" and it is one of the best movies I've ever seen, but it really surprised me that it received such attention in the mainstream audience. It was your classic Sundance Film Festival indie movie - very basic plot with no gaudy visual effects and just enough character development to allow association without overanalization.
I don't want to spoil the movie for those of you who haven't seen it, but there's one line that summed up the moral of the movie (as an aside, nobody reads this blog anyways)
Do what you love...and fuck the rest.
Something to listen to: Guster - One Man Wrecking Machine
Something to do: hide $50 and don't touch it for two years
Today I watched "Little Miss Sunshine" and it is one of the best movies I've ever seen, but it really surprised me that it received such attention in the mainstream audience. It was your classic Sundance Film Festival indie movie - very basic plot with no gaudy visual effects and just enough character development to allow association without overanalization.
I don't want to spoil the movie for those of you who haven't seen it, but there's one line that summed up the moral of the movie (as an aside, nobody reads this blog anyways)
"You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest."
Do what you love...and fuck the rest.
Something to listen to: Guster - One Man Wrecking Machine
Something to do: hide $50 and don't touch it for two years
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