Milking a Dead Horse

There's a popular expression that reads, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Apparently Fox News doesn't realize that the Anna Nicole Smith story broke two weeks ago. Yes, it was undoubtedly news that she died. Sure, I suppose the paternity of her child can also be considered news. That's where I'm going to draw the line on things that you could report on if you were a major news stations.
Unfortunately, this was hardly the case. Instead, CNN, Fox News, etc. decided to have a string of non-breaking coverage for over 100 hours. Viewers were given the chance to see a multitude of opinions on where her body should be buried, the legality of her will, and even who owns her mansion in the Bahamas.
All these legal issues are becoming exhausted now, so Fox needed a new way to keep the debauchery going. The bright minds there decided to go back to their own reports and report on that. Just yesterday they used their own tapes of the trial to criticize the judge on his "shenanigans". That's just obscene. Is there really that little news elsewhere?

News stations aren't the only ones feeding off a single issue until it's unbearable to hear another word. Let's switch our attention to Mr. Inconvenient Truth himself, Al Gore. With the success of his film, it was very logical to see Gore show up at the Academy Awards earlier tonight, and he even was given the honor of speaking at the event. He not only took the opportunity to plug his movie (which was inanely unnecessary) but he also explained that global warming is not a political issue, it's a moral issue that we should all be aware of in order to change the world for the better.
I have many issues with Gore's little charade.
- Al Gore has been a politician for almost 30 years, including a Vice Presidency for 8 years and a presidential candidacy. Do you mean to tell me that after that long time he decided to drop politics for a new life as an environmental advocate on the whim that's it's a "good thing to do"? First of all, name one thing trustworthy done in the White House in the past 20 years. OK, now name any issue that any politician cares about that's not considered "political".
- There is almost no distinction between a moral and a political issue. Politics is the applying and enforcing of governmental laws, which is nothing more than a group of people deciding what is right and wrong. Morality is also deciding what is right and wrong.
- Al Gore is by no means a scientist, and has absolutely no credibility on the issue.
- It is nearly impossible to form a scientific argument for or against the issue of global warming, so most people choose to take the side which "makes the most sense". However, this is skewed by misconceptions and biased information. It is very easy to find a lot of information to support both sides of the issue, but the only way to gain something positive for politicians is to make it an issue. A non-issue isn't positive for anyone.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm against doing anything for the environment - you obviously don't want to shit where you eat. I'm saying that you shouldn't form an opinion based on some movie you saw by a politician with a history of controversy.




Something to listen to: Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
Something to do: Go watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi3erdgVVTw(clip from Penn & Teller's Bullshit! asking people to ban water)

How to Act Smarter

Smart people don't get ahead in life, people who act smart get ahead in life. Here's a couple of ways to make people think you have an IQ of greater than 50.

- Talk quieter. You should only talk loud enough for the people around you to hear. If you're having a conversation with 3 people that are all less than three feet away from you, there's no reason to yell. Even if you're trying to give emphasis, just change your tone and not your volume.

- Use fewer words. Be concise. That's it.

- Move beyond cuss words for adjectives. If you want to say you dislike something, rack your brain for a better adjective than "gay". Try only to swear when you're really mad...or you just got shot in the face or something like that. Keep it out of normal conversation.

- Try to write at a 5th grade level or higher. Your-you're, its-it's,there-their,then-than.

- Read a book for fun. Yes, this one may actually make you smarter, but what you learn from the book is trivial compared to when you get to drop the name of the book in a conversation. Go with Oprah's book club if you don't know where to start.

- Put sex and everything sex-related a step down on your list of priorities. Get a hobby.

And most importantly:
- Always keep an open mind! Yes, you have your opinions/methods/theories/doctrines that you hold to be true. Yes, you obviously have a good enough reason to believe what you believe, and I'm not telling you to change your opinions, I'm simply asking that you acknowledge and respect what others think. Immediate criticism/disregard for someone's personal opinion is asinine. Open your eyes, view the world around you, and question everything.




Something to listen to: The Apples in Stereo - Can You Feel It?
Something to do: Draw a self-portrait